Being at Odds with What You Want
Posted on 20. Dec, 2011 by Shawn Murphy in 1 Leadership
A mark of a great leader is when she can adeptly shift from doing what she wants to doing what’s needed.
The difference between doing what one wants versus what’s needed is in the awareness of grace and the discipline of timing.
Discipline of timing
Let’s look at an extreme example showing a lack of timing discipline. I worked with a senior manager who was focused on bringing in a new accounting system. She was politically savvy and swift in action to build her coalition of support for the new system. She wanted it for a host of reasons, one of which was to prove herself. She was a new executive. The only problem was the organization wasn’t ready. Her project was needed; however, the timing was wrong.
The manager ignored evidence from senior analysts that more internal structures needed to be vetted and in place before a large investment for a new system should be brought in.
Her want for a new system eclipsed prudent decision making. She weaved together a picture of great timing. The picture was what she wanted people to see.
Another nuance was her ability to convince other executives for the accounting system. They, too, wanted a new accounting system and accepted her carefully crafted position.
Awareness of grace
Cueing off my example and heading the opposite direction is awareness of grace. Grace is experienced in how you come upon people and situations. The “how” is fundamental.
At the heart of “how” with grace is compassion and consideration.
- Compassion for people
- Consideration for others’ needs
Being at odds with what you want requires a cultivated approach to leadership. Instead of doing what you want, you ask yourself “Is this what’s needed now?” Evaluate what you want through the lenses of compassion and consideration.
To gracefully back away from what you want because the timing is wrong is a mark of a great leader.





Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan)
21. Dec, 2011
Shawn, a great leader adapts and that seems your primary and wise point. And, as you often extol, a great leader PAYS ATTENTION to their team!
Shawn Murphy
21. Dec, 2011
Bruce,
Seems wicked that something so simple, like adaptability and paying attention to people, is so tough. I suspect some of it has to do with its invisibility.
Shawn
Al Smith
22. Dec, 2011
Great piece Shawn. Your response above says it all. This shouldn’t be so tough, should it ? Compassion and consideration of others should be something we just do. Well, maybe more people will read this and start to CARE. I like that CARE stuff.
I want to invite you to be a guest when we do the guest blog series again at The CARE Movement. Luv your blog post and tweets. Thanks again.
Al
Shawn Murphy
22. Dec, 2011
Al,
My friend Ted Coine has mentioned your site. In fact I know he’s written a guest spot for your site. I’m happy to be a guest blogger. I’ll send you a DM with my contact info.
Be well, Al. Merry Christmas.