Leadership is an honor we all have the opportunity to show. My good friend Susan Mazza says leadership is a verb. It’s when we are in action that we show the guts, sweat, and smiles in our leadership. 

Rarely do we take the time to reflect on what story our leadership tells

Rarely do we stop and look at the influences our leadership leaves on others. 

Rarely do we think what themes make up our leadership story.

Rarely do we purposely formulate who we are in our leadership story.

Rarely do we think through the outcomes we want our leadership to create.

As you prepare for this week, think about the story you want to craft through your leadership-in-action. Make it memorable. Leave people touched, moved, and inspired.

Today’s business environment is volatile, ambiguous, stressful. Without doubt, these are times that test a leader’s character.  

• “How do I raise spirits in a low morale environment?”
• “Can I bare to share more dismal news about employee layoffs? Cuts to budgets?”
• “How do I explain that employees won’t receive salary increases while senior managers receive bonuses?”

The realities create struggles for the leader who sees the exhaustion, frustration, anger in their employees. Up against what the company wants and the needs of employees, managers today have added complexity in already demanding work.

As trite as it may seem, the realities can’t be met with defeat. Yes it is tough, even awkward. Managers at all levels have a choice to make: accept the mood in their company or influence what they can with their teams.

These times push us to confront the uncharted depths of our capacity to lead. The mindful leader, which you are, will choose to confront the exhaustion, frustration, anger despite not knowing what to do.

Put aside the rote-response of “corporate speak” and have real conversations about what’s going on and how employees’ lives are influenced by work, by the economy.

By not turning away from the struggle of what to do, the limitations of your leadership know-how do become clearer. You have to lean into it, though. New insights emerge. It’s uncanny, but true.

There’s a metaphor about a good storm that seems fitting. It takes a good storm to clean things out. We’re in a helluva storm right now. All storms pass. And they come again. It’s how you ride it out that can make the difference. Perhaps prepare you for the next one.

First, let’s be clear on a few terms.

Breakdown is when there is a momentary collapse in your integrity. You behave in a manner that’s not you and is inappropriate.

Perpetrator means you are the instigator of the breakdown.

Recovering from the Breakdown
The most effective way to recover from a breakdown you perpetrated is to say sorry to those involved.

• The apology must be face-to-face. It cannot be done through email. To be frank, that’s meaningless and gutless.
• Take ownership of the breakdown. In other words, clean up your mess.
• Do not make excuses or explain rationales for your behavior.
• Get straight to the apology. “I owe several apologies. My behavior was over the top…”
• Keep it short. Don’t ramble.
• Leave room for others to respond. If they don’t that’s okay. More time may need to pass.
• It may be necessary to talk about next steps. It depends on the severity of the breakdown, however.

A leader who can say, “I’m sorry” sets a standard of interaction that deepens relationships. It also lets others know that it’s okay to be human. Sure we all have “stuff” going on in our lives, and sometimes we take out our stress on others. A sincere apology lets others know the importance of team and camaraderie. It’s an act of humility.

The leader who can say, “I’m sorry” signals to the team that community trumps individuality

New Era Leaders recognize the time commitment and see an opportunity. It’s not an opportunity to exploit employees’ talents. That’s what we did in the Industrial Age. In the 21st Century, leaders understand the time commitment and want to help employees to do good.

What’s this “good?”

It starts with the acknowledgement of the opportunity costs. Employees could be else where doing work for someone else, even themselves. New Era Leaders honor the sacrifice by positioning their employees to do work that allows them to apply their talents, use their experiences, be creative, connect with each other.

This collaboration let’s employees begin to see that what they know matters. That what they can achieve with others can make a difference.

This is basic human nature. We all want to matter. We want to belong, be part of something.

Building a team on this belief and reinforcing it will separate the great from the good leaders. These leaders, New Era Leaders, can thrive in a company that doesn’t support this belief. They can do so because they nurture and prepare their team to interact with others with grace. They keep each other focused on what their purpose is. They know what their purpose is.

These leaders understand that to treat employees as human beings is what has mattered from the beginning – even in the factories in the 19th century.

New Era Leaders genuinely connect to know their teammates’ stories. The stronger the relationship, the stronger the team the stronger results.  

Those 9000 days equate to approximately 1/3 of our life. New Era Leaders make them count. They do it by believing people want to make a difference.

If your curiosity was piqued by the two questions, I suspect we’re alike in many ways. I know I’m not alone in my passion to achieve great things while I’m walking this earth. That passion drives me to redefine my business. Myself. It’s what pulls me forward to take on writing my first book.

While dreaming, planning, and shipping big is great, even necessary, it becomes a road too often traveled.

In the busyness of chasing big the significance of the small too often is minimized.

• Spending time getting to know new employees. Catching up with familiar employees.
• Reading that book sitting on your shelf reminding you to learn something new
• Revisiting (even writing down) your personal mission statement
• Hanging out with your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews
• Sitting in silence
• Reflecting on your day, that last meeting, your next step

Will I stop chasing big? No. Neither should you. Tali Sharot, author of The Optimism Bias, writes that our brains are wired to imagine a better future. That ability feeds into chasing big ideas, changes, you name it.

For the sake of your health, your employees’ health, even the quality of your plans and execution, spend time with the small.

If that little voice creeps up saying, “Ignore this fool” I have one question for you: What’s it costing you to constantly chase big? Ask those on your team. At home.

If on the other hand no such little voice creeps up, block time on your calendar to chase small.

Image shared freely courtesy of me.

Before I go much further, I must say that if you hold beliefs that leadership is about controlling people who need controlling, then this post will make no sense to you.

If you, however, believe that leadership is about creating moments and avenues that bring people together, then this will resonate with you. As you read I want you to keep in mind the beliefs you have about your purpose as a leader. If you’re unclear about them, that’s okay. You’ll still find this relevant.

Remaining steadfast in your leadership purpose is a learned behavior. It’s the result of failures, major mistakes, minor disappointments, and little to big wins.

How you check in with yourself about your response to the ups-and-downs can keep you true to your leadership purpose. Here are four check points:

Are you grounded in the face of resistance? You appear calm in response to resistance to you, your plans, your ideas. You seek to understand why there is resistance. You engage in dialog. The inquiry into others’ thinking and perceptions permits you to remain focused on your purpose as a leader. It guides you through the charged emotions associated with resistance.

Are you graceful when rejected? Not getting what you want can derail you and your plans. Aligning with your leadership purpose makes it easier to be graceful in the face of rejection. For example, if I’m not selected for a promotion, I’ll ask what I need to focus on to be a stronger candidate next time. I’ll use the feedback to improve.

Are you grounded when you win? Celebrating any size win with those who helped make it happen is vital for good morale. It’s good just to hoot and holler.The leader who keeps her eye on her purpose doesn’t let winning inflate her ego…for too long. And she also shines the light brighter on those who helped make the win possible. The next win, however, is in the waiting, and we get to start from scratch all over.

Are you humble when praised? It’s good to accept praise when it’s given. Clarity on purpose keeps us humble when acknowledged for great work. Without purpose, praise is what we seek instead of uniting a team who works hard to achieve a shared goal, vision.

The busyness of business will throw you off track. It can guide you to falsely believe things about yourself and the quality of your leadership. However, today more than ever your people need you to be diligent in learning from and responding to the ups-and-downs. These four check points help you do just that.

Photo courtesy of Gilad

Well, despite the gloomy direction this post started heading, I want to spin you around and have you go down a more upbeat path.

Leaders, you can influence the mood in your teams. You can do this by making peace.
Let me explain. But first I need to acknowledge reality: The bitter taste of prior machete hacks may still be lingering memories for many. Water cooler conversations will include speculation about more cuts given the economy’s performance yesterday.

You, however, can ease nerves.  

Making peace is a way for you to open conversation. It’s a leadership act to neutralize negativity and fear. How? Here are three ways.

Make room for dialogue. Let your team blow steam and wax optimistic. Let people talk about concerns. Be a voice of reason and share what you know about any company responses. If you don’t know say so. If you know but can’t say, say so. Manage the sting of the reality by facilitating a thoughtful, honest conversation with your team. Don’t let water cooler gossip be a substitute for dialogue.

Healing. Now don’t roll your eyes. New Era Leaders recognize the importance of dialogue. It unleashes what would normally be bottled up as unmentionable in the workplace: fear about the future of the company, one’s job, even other’s job. It’s too common in times like today. Leading to avoid bottled-up emotions or concerns lets healing from losses happen naturally instead of constrained because they’re not discussed.

Draw a line in the sand. Quite simply, as a leader draw a line in the sand today. Don’t allow anxiety or fear control how you connect with your staff during difficult times. Establish a precedent that unity is more important than divisive silence or protocol or outdated cultural norms that prevent people from gathering to discuss, connect and support one another.

It’s too early to know if companies will need to pull out the machete again. I hope not. You can be there for your team.

I leave you with this thought. When it comes to making peace, MLK had a noteworthy quote: Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.

Photo courtesy of Bleezer