Achieved Strategies

I want to share a personal story to make an important point for leaders in business. First, the personal story.

For overly 30 years my dad and I were not on speaking terms.  I had a belief that he wasn’t a good person.  I based that belief on my perception that he was rarely around when I was growing up.  I carried the burden of anger and resentment of 30+ years.

Through some personal work I uncovered a sense of loss over the lost relationship with my dad.  I picked up the phone and we rebooted our relationship. I told my dad that it was no longer acceptable that he wasn’t a part of my life.  I missed him at the holidays and wanted to experience father/son time with him.  We get to do that today.

I could get really sappy on you, but I’ll save that and transition into the business point I want to make.

I allowed distant, fuzzy memories to dictate what I could have today and in the future – a relationship with my dad.  I believed my dad was no good then and he could be no good now.  Right? How often does this pattern of logic happen in business? By leaders? Too often.

Too often we make filing errors when it comes to our past.  Here’s an example of this error: As a leader you make the mistake of accepting help from a peer on a project. Your peer drops the ball and leaves you hanging.  You end up having to complete the work your peer didn’t do.  So you say to yourself, “I’ll never do that again.  If I want something done, I’ll have to do it myself.”  There’s the filing error.

Not everyone will leave you hanging. Letting the situation (now in the past) determine who you allow to help you in the future eliminates your ability to be a contributing team member.  As a leader, a top priority is to create an environment that allows others to do their best work.  And best work often requires team input.

What’s an alternative way to respond to the situation? Find out what happened with your coworker and let her know her behavior is unacceptable.  Let the problem serve as a lesson to you and move forward.

I operate on this simply tenant in similar situations: When there’s a “mess,” clean it up and move on.

I learned with my dad that I’d miss out on great moments and interactions if the baggage of the past tugs on my mind.

As leaders, we are severely crippled in causing great moments and having meaningful interactions when we let the past drive our leadership today and in the future.