Achieved Strategies

Murder & The Bystander Effect
Would you help someone who was stabbed and lying
on the ground? According to research, it’s likely
you would if you were the only person who could
see the person on the ground. You’d be less likely
if others could see the person.  The inaction to
help is called the Bystander Effect.

The Bystander Effect is this: when a person is in
distress and there are many people around the less
likely people would be to help the person.

According to psychologists we’re hard-wired to
ignore a person in distress.  We assume help is on
the way.

Tacos & A Sleeping Man
About 12 years ago I walked over a man sleeping in
the middle of the street. I was on my way to
pick-up tacos for dinner. With tacos in hand, I
walked around the sleeping man on my way home.

Years ago I shared this story with about 100
people.  I was a participant in a three-day
seminar. We were discussing the importance of
community, connecting with people and what we do
to separate ourselves from others.

My Armchair Analysis – Lessons to Learn
Up to that moment I hadn’t allowed myself to think
of what my inaction meant – avoiding helping the
sleeping man in the middle of the street.

In the seminar, I realized the meaning of my
choice.  The guy in the middle of the road wasn’t
the only person I avoided.

If I could avoid a person who was in the middle of
the road, I could avoid connecting with people in
my life, professionally and personally.

The avoidance of connecting with people – human
beings – is what I believe is a major cause to the
Bystander Effect.

Due to many convoluted reasons, I suspect, we’ve
strayed away from recognizing the importance of
helping one another along in this world.

We’ve got to recommit to supporting each other, to
connecting with each other.

5 Tips for Connecting with People as People
I’ve downplayed significantly the insights I had
about walking over a man asleep in the middle of
the road.  What’s important is what I’ve learned.
1.    Focus on how I am being so that others realize
how great they are
2.    Stop making others wrong for their choices,
their actions or their inaction
3.    Inquire into others’ thinking:  what do they
mean by what they say
4.    Start with trust; if it’s betrayed it’s on the
person; I move on
5.    Remember people’s names and important
relationships: friends, husband, wife, partner,
family, etc.

Oh, in case you’re interested, NBC ran a story on
Sunday about a person who was stabbed after
interfering with a mugging.  The person died
laying on the sidewalk in NYC.  20 people walked
by him and did nothing.

Share your comments or stories below.