Neutered Communications

Neutered Communications

Posted on 01. Aug, 2010 by in 1 Leadership, People & Change

We’ve become overly concerned about what we say to each other and how we say it.  So to be safe we neuter our communications to a level of banality that is often void of genuine and truthful messages.

And in the workplace it’s worse.  I’ve had countless conversations with managers about communicating change that is anticipated to be difficult. Those who resist sharing the truth end up saying to me, “I know my people. It’s too much. They can’t handle it right now.”  The outcome: a watered down message that is laden with subtext that is fuel for the rumor-mill.

There is an assumption at the heart of all this “safe-talk” that needs to be challenged.  It’s this: we assume people can’t handle the truth.  We are avoiding difficult conversations.  We are discounting employees’ capacity to handle difficult news.

We’ve seen “safe talk” damage a leader’s credibility, and trust is weakened.  In severe cases it’s destroyed.

The truth may sting, but it provides facts.  Facts give employees the necessary information to process their feelings and inform their opinions. Without the truth, employees are left to fill in the gaps of information. And it’s usually not what a leader would want.

Leaders must learn how to deliver difficult information sensitively, truthfully.

How? Well, here are a few ways.

  • Remember when sharing difficult information, your goal is to help them accept and understand your message. Your audience doesn’t have to like it, but they need enough information to help them get to acceptance and/or understanding.
  • You can help them get to acceptance and/or understanding by showing that you get the difficulty that employees are experiencing.  But only do this after talking with employees. Don’t assume you know. Show that you know. “I’ve talked with quite a few of our employees to understand how this change will impact them…”
  • Use “I” statements. “What I need from everyone is…”  “From what I’ve learned, there is concern…”

What we consistently hear from employees is that they wish for management to just let them know what’s going on.  The neutered communications that blare from microphones in meeting rooms or emblazon the latest intranet story merely keep employees apathetic about change and about leadership’s ability to connect with their employees.

What are your suggestions for sharing the truth? List them below.

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2 Responses to “Neutered Communications”

  1. Susan Mazza

    01. Aug, 2010

    This is a really important topic Shawn. Not only have we neutered the words but we have also numbed our emotion.

    I too have see this phenomena do a lot of damage All too often people justify soft peddling their communication in the name of protecting others or being nice. Yet not only does it fail to accomplish either, all too often who we are really protecting are ourselves.

    One pattern I have seen as a coach is that delivering bad news and especially giving negative feedback is not easy for most of us. Our own discomfort with hearing this kind of info can become blinders impeding our ability to communicate. Yet in an attempt to prevent discomfort in the short term we actually dis-empower people for the long term.

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    • Shawn Murphy

      01. Aug, 2010

      So many important things said in your comment, Susan. I particularly like your addition of numbed emotions. With empty words and numbed emotions I visualize a robot. What we need is a resurgence in leaders who recognize the humanity in work, and connect with their employees when delivering a difficult message or recovering from a mistake. That is at the core of what we can do to help restore trust and respect in leaders today – help them find a way to tap into their humanity, to connect with their employees.

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