Achieved Strategies

At the heart of conflict are two “needs.” If not acknowledged and dealt with they will slowly destroy a leader’s ability to build and keep relationships: the need to be heard and the need to be right.

Need to be heard

When people collide over differences, the knowing leader knows the importance of letting others speak their minds.  When we are caught in the grasp of our anger, frustrations, disappointment they cry out to be heard.  If any of these are silenced, conflict will expand and resolution is impossible.

Need to be right

This insidious viewpoint is complex.  The reasons for it and the triggers of it are complex.  Despite either, the need to be right drives a deep chasm between people involved in the conflict. There is no listening when a person feels the need to be right.  There is no conversation.  And without a conversation, a conflict is without a resolution.  The need to be right is one-sided.

Leaders who pay attention to interactions know the importance of letting others speak their minds. And often such leaders speak last and use questions to encourage dialogue.  This knowledge is vital to help resolve conflict. When people collide over words, actions, and approaches the knowing leader keeps their eye on the importance of relationships and their impact on results.

Experienced leaders learn over time that the need to be right is as much about ego as it is about the debate.  And while debate has its value, debate to prove a point or to show one’s intelligence is rooted in behavior that tears apart a team.  The experienced leader will do right for the person who needs to be right and the team by coaching the person to let go of the need to be right.